

Ultrasoldier is back and he's more ultra than ever. Bullets fly and tears cry as we learn his tragic ultra-origins. The newest gadget on the market has taken the world by storm - a pain-storm, that is.

A mysterious number in a truck stop bathroom leads a scientist and a billionaire to the ends of the universe and back. Two online video pranksters explore the outer limits of embarrassment.

Cory just wants to play video games. Cory's dad just wants him to clean the damn attic. Cory is mad lad. Dad is a tad sad. Lunk is rad, The Goblin Army is armor clad and fantastic adventures are ready to be had until things go bad.

Turnbuckle terror taunts a troubled twosome as translucent, trophy-seeking toughs tussle off the top rope in a tournament of tortured-soul tenacity. Also, there's a haunted house.

Tonight's Top Story: Chip Chapley cheerfully chugs along at NVM News, while an alienated Abbie Babble attempts to address PainTech's plotting ploys to profiteer from people's pain.

The Lord gets on board with a smorgasbord of chords, but Satan is waiting to hasten his fall from grace and complicating God's plan for concentrating on creating by baiting him into dating and mating.

This story is very, very sad. Please do not watch it.